Stockholm Syndrome
by Chaseblaire
Summary: After her return to Konoha, Anko struggles to be free of Orochimaru. Past Orochimaru/Anko, very slight hint of Iruka/Anko.


When Anko wakes up, she thinks she's taken a bad fall on the training courts. She expects to see Orochimaru bending over her asking about her abysmal performance andhas she practice that new technique at _all_?

But none of those things happen.

Anko is in an unfamiliar bed, surrounded by sterile white walls and mechanic _clicks_ and _beeps_. Her head hurts and the back of her neck is _burning_. She claws at it desperately, feeling sticky wetness when her nails break the skin. Anko doesn't realize she's screaming until white-coated men medic-_nins _stream into the room asking what's wrong.

The one in charge is a woman. She's blonde, fair-skinned, and _beautiful_.

"My name is Tsunade."

The woman, _Tsunade, _scans the charts by the side of the bed, folding back the bed-covers. Anko tries not to squirm at the intrusion as she lifts back the flimsy, paper hospital gown. Tsnuade's mouth tightens as she sees the blue-black bruises that decorate Anko's stomach and pelvis.

Tsunade's hands shake as she lowers the paper tunic; the material trembles in her grip. Anko tries to explain. "He didn't make me. I _wanted_ to."

Tsunade tries to smile but ends up looking like someone offered her a plate of dango and then snatched it away at the last minute and Anko wonders what she's done this time.

"Don't explain. It's okay."

But Anko know that it _isn't _ okay; when adults have to reassure you it means something's wrong. Orochimaru always said that when they told you everything was fine everything was when everything came crashing down.

Orochimaru was always right.

She tells the _shinobi_ who interrogates her this, and he laughs nervously before checking her pulse to check whether she's telling the truth.

Anko fidgets nervously. She's never been in the presence of someone like the _Hokage _before.

Tsunade stands behind him, arms crossed and lips pressed together. Anko can sense her presence like a shadow, bitter and angry though at _what_ Anko can't say. She doesn't like it, and wishes Tsunade would leave.

Anko is quick to sense weakness and the man questioning her seems uncomfortable and ill at ease. The Hokage, on the other hand is kind but stern, like the father she never knew

They ask Anko to remember and she tries, she really does. But she just _can't_.

The only thing Anko can recall is her life with Orochimaru before he left Konoha. When she tells them that she shared a bed with her _sensei_, the _Sandaime _cradles his head in his hands and doesn't lift it for a long time.

Anko notices that the left side of the interrogator's mouth curves higher than his right when he smiles and wonders if he's had a stroke. Orochimaru always said that details are important. In her mind she can hear him tell her to _focus, Anko, focus._

The memory of his voice sends ribbons of pain to the black mark on her neck and she grabs at it. Anko can feel his disappoint crashing down on her shoulders, sharper than any _kunai_.

The last things Anko hears before she sinks into darkness is Orochimaru's sardonic chuckle.

_You are weak. _

When Anko comes to she is back in her almost familiar room. There's a black-haired girl sitting in by the bed, hands folded neatly. She's young, fourteen or fifteen.

"Um. My name is Shizune." Her words are hesitant but her smile is real. "You must be Anko-_chan._" Anko can hear the pity in the girl's voice; she shrinks away from it.

"We need a- well, we need a urine sample from you." Shizune sets a plastic cup on the endtable. Anko eyes it warily, utterly nonplussed by the shiny, green plastic.

"Why?"

"To test for pregnancy." Tsunade is leaning against the doorframe, eyes narrowed. Shizune stands up formally when the woman enters, bowing slightly. Anko laughs aloud at the notion, but her laughter dies when he realizes they aren't joking.

Anko never thought about pregnancy, about babies or _families_. What she and Orochimaru did had nothing to do with anything like _that._

Tsunade never tells her the results of the test so Anko assumes that it was negative.

Anko doesn't know whether to be relieved or not. A baby would be trouble, she knows that much about them and how would she ever take it on missions? But she also knows that the baby would be half _his_ and missing the chance to have physical link with him fills Anko with regret.

But Anko forgets about the baby-that-wasn't, and in a few weeks she is released from the hospital.

Her new rooms are much smaller than the house she shared with Orochimaru, but they're suitable. After much debate the council has decided _not_ to send Anko back to the academy, after all she is _Genin _level already.

The downside of this is that her friends will be busy all day, if they _are _still her friends. Kotestu and Izumo welcome her back with grins and slaps on the back. She aims a friendly punch at Kotestu's shoulder and he winces.

"Geez, Anko," he says, throwing a _kunai_ in retribution. She catches the blade between her fingers without looking, and sticks her tongue out at the boy. The difference in skill level is another thing that sets her apart from her friends.

They introduce her to Iruka, a year below them in the academy. "You're cute," Anko tells him. Iruka turns red and giggles, which makes the scar over the bridge of his nose wrinkle.

For all the laughter and seeming normality, it's apparent things are different now. None ever mentions Orochimaru or even the Land of Ocean in her presence, and Anko wonders if the _Hokage_ ordered it. She stays out of his and Tsunade's way for the most part.

Anko avoids Minato, too, if she can help it; she hates his pitying kindness. _Yout're the one_, she wants to tell him, scream at him, _You're the one who ruined my sensei's life._

But she knows it's not true. Orochimaru ruined his own life and hers in the process.

Anko struggles to believe this, but it's difficult. Orochimaru bought her _dango_, taught her summoning, and gave her a place to stay when she had none.

Anko wants desperately to hate Orochimaru. Why is it so hard?


End file.
